time to breathe

11.13.2011

i have realized something through the many months of keeping a blog. it is an easy thing to sit here and spill out pretty words, making everything seem perfect. not to misunderstand that my life is good; but life is also hard. i've encountered my ups and downs. and i think its important to share both sides. 
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every now and then, i get caught up with the negatives of my everydays. somewhere in the midst of natural routine, things can go very wrong. suddenly and without cause, bad things happen. there are problems that i can't outrun. there are doubts that seem to sink deeper within me. sometimes it seems like my world is tearing apart and that things are falling out of control. my worries encompass me like a trap. basically, i feel like a colossal mess. and that's when all i feel like doing, is getting away.
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i slip into my grey rain boots and pull a warm sweater over my head. with my camera safely tucked under my arm, i step out onto the backporch that winds around the side of the house. arriving in the browning grass of our front yard, i find the long gravel drive awaiting me like an old friend. i start down the lane with long strides, breathing slowly to get use to the cold air. the trees are almost completely bare against the blue ceiling, their leaves layered on the wood's floor. meeting the treeline's end, the fields in front of me are open and clear. a songbird flies quickly across to the saftey of the timbers, leaving the scene quiet and still. the endless sky is darkening with only the west horizon left lit with soft hues of pinks. this is my place, my time to breathe.
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true, it may sound like an exaggerated account of a stroll down the lane, but for me it is much more. this taste of momentary freedom is my cure. for as long as i can remember, i've always enjoyed it. i don't know exactly what it is, but an excursion down this familiar road has always been something i love. as i walk, my mind clears. i'm able to think at my own pace. taking a turn down the lane of memories, i recall old times that make me smile. times when i didn't have a care in the world. i'm reminded of things i've forgotten. truths and promises that are somehow lost in the commotion. learning slowly that things are never in my control, that this is the most comforting thing i could ever realize. this is my time to think of everything, or nothing at all.
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what does a time to breathe look like for you? do tell.
oh, and welcome to my new followers! wishing all of you a lovely start to this week.

5 comments:

  1. A time to breathe for me looks like sitting in my room and reading a good book. With a cup of tea or hot chocolate.

    Bliss.

    xoxo
    Abi

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  2. amen, amen, amen. beautiful. this is me. this is exactly me.
    -jocee <3

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  3. Beautiful post and love the pictures. For me, I usually calm down by waching a movie such as Jane Eyre and doing a fun craft project while it plays. I get lost in the plot of a moving story and then feel accomplished at the end because I complete something I've probably been procrastinating working on. ;)

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  4. amen. a time to breathe for me is similar to yours -- just a walk outside, as God intended us. too bad I don't take them very often.

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  5. yes. I love this so much. especially in this crazy time in my life, I'm having to remind myself to just breathe.

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