the beauty of silence

12.15.2011

as i relax here this december evening and reflect on today, i hear nothing. my home is rarely in this state (with three littles constantly scampering about). everyone is sleeping soundly in warm beds, worn out from a busy day. the lights of the christmas tree are blinking softly in the room, a pitch black night swallows the moonlight outside the windows. except for the steady hum of the ceiling fan and the untimed rythmn of my typing, i am encompassed by quiet. and so i muse to myself all that silence is.

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i will admit that silence has its aggrivating elements. when my mouth runs dry of words to say, i get quite annoyed with myself. say something, just...anything. because of the pending limit of time i have, i think it should be filled with conversation. when sentences refuse to form, i begin to grab aimlessly for things to say. all to often though, nothing comes. and i have to remind myself that its okay.
silence can be a hurtful thing. mistaken for disinterest or dislike, the moments of quiet that are shared between people can form boundaries. these walls of silence sadly can form doubts which will often encourage even more silence. again, i'm reminded that its important to say what needs to be said. in a kind and honest way, pulling the silence on the carpet can break tension and erase the distance. looking back and wishing something would have been said is one of the worst feelings. and all too often, the regret of words said is usually lesser than the words not spoken.

in a matter of speaking, i consider myself a more quiet person than i am loud. although i have my obnoxiously outrageous moments, i enjoy nothing more than to listen. in a group of friends, i'm the one who likes to soak everything in, adding short bits to the conversation. while its true that i love my friends to death, i do adore a good one-on-one dialogue. an interest to me is found in analyzing words, dipicting their meaning and source. and i overthink most of the time, but that's just me. my mind is always spinning webs of one thing or another, of great importance or of little.

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those with quiet mouths usually have the loudest minds. i really do think that just because someone doesn't say much, doesn't mean they have nothing to say. unfortunately, trying to interpret my thoughts is not one of my strong suits. the majority of the time, i'm quiet. honestly, i would rather say less and mean more. even if words don't come, the thoughts do. they come and come. if a mind could be peered into, you would see a vast maze of color and motion. there would be twists and turns, vivid pictures, a unique world of acute complication and simplicity. sometimes there are no words to describe what is being thought. when the quiet settles in, words are lost, and mouths are closed; there is a wonder that surrounds. in a way i cannot explain, the silence comforts me. the things not said make me smile. because every now and then, its nice to listen to the silence together.

11 comments:

  1. love the pictures and your drawing is so cute! :)

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  2. i think you stole my mind and put it in this post. because this is exactly me. i talk alot. but then, i think more than i talk. my mind constantly goes, talking and talking and talking and i find myself analyzing things i didn't even know i knew. i quite enjoy silence. but on the other hand i find it rather frustrating and awkward. wow. this was so beautiful. i loved this. :))
    -jocee <3

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  3. I have so very much I could say about the amazingness of this post, but it all basically boils down to:
    you're incredible. I totally agree. the end.

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  4. love the drawing! it looks like the sharing tree♥

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  5. seriously, how is your writing so beautiful, madison? this post pretty much encapsulated everything I've been thinking lately, and my feelings about silence...like you, I'm generally more quiet, but then i have random outrageous moments :)
    ~simi
    p.s. I'm having a 100 follower giveaway at my blog with 8 sweet prizes, if you'd like to enter!

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  6. this is so lovely. so agree with you -- I'm can get kinda crazy around my friends, but I'm generally a rather shy person. that quote is pure perfection.

    ps totally just wrote a post on silence, only to flip through my reader to see this. crazy. hope you don't mind!

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  7. you're too good of a artist to not do something with it.
    LF

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  8. oh, this is so beautiful. your posts lately have been nothing but. and that drawing is absolutely incredible; I'm serious. I think over Christmas break I'll try my hand at some sketches again. merry {almost} Christmas madison!
    xo

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  9. oh my goodness. this post and drawing was beautiful! <3 Thanks for following!

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  10. I'm a word person and use them too often. I get stumped in silence and try to fill the void with words. As I age, I find it easier to just be ... with age comes wisdom ... right?

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  11. Beautiful.
    I often find myself wishing I could speak up more, but the words aren't there. There are certain people I'm always quiet around. I wish they could see my crazy side, that I could speak up around them, but I just can't seem to.

    And at the same time, silence can be beautiful with certain people. I love being able to sit with someone and not feel awkward with the quiet. That is so special.

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